2008 Woodie Awards
Global warming goes down the toilet
My View
Mick Swasko
Issue date: 4/26/07 Section: Viewpoint
Don't peg me as a horrible person, but I am not ultra passionate about global warming.
I've been yelled at for throwing plastics in the paper bin, and paper in the trashcan. I leave lights on when I leave the room, and let the water run full blast when I am shaving.
I am not proud of this. In fact, I am probably one of the people that the environmentally conscientious will shout "I told you so" at when we are all becoming one with the Atlantic and Pacific.
I make no excuses for my wasteful behavior. However, I believe myself, just like many others who revel in giving Mother Earth a black eye, don't take the warnings as seriously because of the ludicrous arguments for and against the phenomenon every day.
Take, for example, the headlines singer Sheryl Crow made during a concert last week.
"I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting," Crow said, suggesting one square, unless one really needs two.
Perhaps the purest of bodily waste, smelling of fresh baked apple pies, is expelled from Crow on a regular basis. I think I speak for the rest of the population, however, when I say using one square of toilet paper would cause a human catastrophe far greater than global warming.
It was later revealed Crow suggested the hygienic modification in jest. I suppose the joke is on the people who trusted the celebrity's advice, and actually limited their TP use, especially those who may have eaten Taco Bell that day.
But honestly, it is this type of message that makes us environmentally unconscious feel as if the subject isn't as serious as it is made out to be.
Every day celebrities seem to be spouting off more smoke than a refinery, most of which seem to suggest over the top solutions that they obviously couldn't follow themselves.
And it isn't just the arguments and suggestions to stop global warming that make the issue seem half serious.
As difficult as it is to admit, I frequent the conservative news-blog DrudgeReport. The site, run by Matt Drudge, is most famous for its breaking of the Monica Lewinski scandal, and for a flashing red and blue emergency light for when something really terrible happens.
I've been yelled at for throwing plastics in the paper bin, and paper in the trashcan. I leave lights on when I leave the room, and let the water run full blast when I am shaving.
I am not proud of this. In fact, I am probably one of the people that the environmentally conscientious will shout "I told you so" at when we are all becoming one with the Atlantic and Pacific.
I make no excuses for my wasteful behavior. However, I believe myself, just like many others who revel in giving Mother Earth a black eye, don't take the warnings as seriously because of the ludicrous arguments for and against the phenomenon every day.
Take, for example, the headlines singer Sheryl Crow made during a concert last week.
"I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting," Crow said, suggesting one square, unless one really needs two.
Perhaps the purest of bodily waste, smelling of fresh baked apple pies, is expelled from Crow on a regular basis. I think I speak for the rest of the population, however, when I say using one square of toilet paper would cause a human catastrophe far greater than global warming.
It was later revealed Crow suggested the hygienic modification in jest. I suppose the joke is on the people who trusted the celebrity's advice, and actually limited their TP use, especially those who may have eaten Taco Bell that day.
But honestly, it is this type of message that makes us environmentally unconscious feel as if the subject isn't as serious as it is made out to be.
Every day celebrities seem to be spouting off more smoke than a refinery, most of which seem to suggest over the top solutions that they obviously couldn't follow themselves.
And it isn't just the arguments and suggestions to stop global warming that make the issue seem half serious.
As difficult as it is to admit, I frequent the conservative news-blog DrudgeReport. The site, run by Matt Drudge, is most famous for its breaking of the Monica Lewinski scandal, and for a flashing red and blue emergency light for when something really terrible happens.
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